Michael Jackson's Michael: An Album Review

When certain albums come out I will buy them on CD. This is because if there is some sort of Armageddon and the whole of the Internet is wiped out, at least I’ll still have my favourite music on hand. Of course, in this scenario I fail to take into account that I no longer own a CD player so I’m not sure where one will magically appear from after a nuclear holocaust but let’s not look too deeply into that. The last album I bought on CD was “FutureSex/LoveSounds” a few years ago and then on Monday I went into HMV and bought Michael Jackson’s posthumous release “Michael”. Here’s my song-by-song live review.
Hold My Hand – Duet with Akon: I’ve never liked an Akon song and this is no exception. This is like no other song Michael has ever done. It’s so Generic McShit; in fact I think I heard a similar song on the NKOTB album.
Hollywood Tonight: Okay, this is more like it but this is “Michael Jackson” not Michael Jackson. It would have been a really good song if the vocals were better.
Keep Your Head Up: I skipped this, a bit too Gone Too Soon for me.
(I Like) The Way You Love Me: There’s a little bit of MJ magic going on at the beginning and it’s very telling of what this album really is.
Monster (Featuring 50 Cent): I got excited when this track started, it sounds very promising. That’s just not his vocals (sounds the least like him out of all the songs) but the song is a very good one. Nicely produced.
Best of Joy: Not MJ, in fact sounds like me on helium. I have to skip this.
Breaking News: Oh yas, I’m liking this. But the autotuning is becoming tiring. If I look past that it’s a great tune.
(I Can’t Make it) Another Day (Featuring Lenny Kravitz): Pretty rocky and strong vocals on this. I think this is one of my favourites on the album so far.
Behind The Mask: 80s sax?! This reminds me of a song from The Lost Boys OST at the beginnning but thankfully it does get better. There’s a really nice hook about a minute in and one of the strongest vocals of the album.
Much Too Soon: Ballad. Skipped.
Overall: I wish it was a Michael Jackson album I was reviewing but it really isn’t. Take Hollywood Tonight as an example of what this album really is; bits of recorded Michael sewn together with Teddy Riley thread. In fact all the songs that don’t sound like MJ are the ones produced by Riley. Oh Teddy, I know you like autotune but was this really necessary? There’s more autotuning on this than an X-Factor live show. I know Riley likes to claim that the album is all Michael Jackson but it’s not just about “take vocals from here, put it with vocals from this“. MJ was a perfectionist and there’s no way he would have released this hodge podge of songs in the guise of an album. Just look at Dangerous which also had some tracks produced by Teddy Riley but is leaps and bounds better than this album.
When Michael Jackson died I was sad that I would never get to see him live but now I know the real tragedy: no more albums.


  1. Oh this is just the first churn of milk from the MJ Cow (cough *Tupac* cough). This was always a pre-planned by the MJ yes men brigade, in case of MJ ‘s death, scour for un-released material (deemed unfit for purpose by MJ no doubt) and proceed to rape it.
    I’m sure MJ would’ve have rather recollected anecdotes of fried chicken eating with Magic Johnson than to duet with likes of Autotune Akon and 50 ‘did I mention I’ve been shot 6 times, that’s 5 more than Tim Westwood’ Cent.
    Posthumously ‘produced’ Albums are nothing short of necrophilia.

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