saima, gawd, i don’t know why, but there is something, don’t know how to explain it, but something really scary and racist about this article. too many sterotypes, too many generalizations, followed by this line “The needs of one partner are fulfilled by the nature of the other. ” …just freaks me out a little. and i am an indian woman who married a caucasian man…he didn’t see me as asian though, he saw me as me, with my a skin a little bit more brown. i totally dig my hubby’s view, i don’t like this man’s…eek…
I think he made some valid points at the beginning of the article when he said it just happened to have dated more Asian women and that noone asks Asian men why they like Asian women. But yeah some points were generalisations though he did try his utmost by saying that that was the case as far as he is concerned.
Hey at least he was honest. Didn’t try to couch it in too intellectual terms. Basically said that he was attracted to them and that they give him the time of day – which is always a plus with women. I say date whoever you like and likes you back, don’t think about it too much and keep an open mind…. although this guy did sport the creepy vibe.
Yeah, this guy is definitely creepy and vaguely offensive. Makes me itchy.
This guy is got a web site
Hmm, I think we should clear up that “Asian” in US means what the Brits refer to as “Orientals.” I don’t see too many dot-curried Indian “Asian” women dating White men. More importantly, not many White men being the first one to break the ice and asking out an Indian woman. The Indian female were the one asking the White male out in all the Indian Female-White Male pairs that I know of. In almost all those cases, the Indian female made a concerted decision that she would never find “happiness” with an Indian male, be it of the “imported” kind or “locally grown.” Of course there are a few Indian female-Black male pairs I know. But in those cases the Black male had the courage and decency to be the first one to ask the other party out on a date. It seems that Indian Female – White Male pairs are limited to NYU and SUNY Stony Brook campuses. Also many of these pairs grow out of professional acquaintances. [see Jhumpa Lahiri.]
Unlike others, I actually ask my friends why they are going out with the one they are going out with. I am weird like that. (I also, if called for, sometimes openly criticize their choice in mates.)
Asian (read “Oriental”) men prefer to date other Asian women because of what my friends say, “for the long haul.” She is someone their parents would not oppose, even if none of them can actually read or write any of the “back home” languages and can barely speak it, if ever. Within the groups where they can read, write and speak (or two of three) the “back home” languages, it is pretty much a given that they’d like to date someone who can do all three as well. I have friends who have been dating since high school. Long haul indeed.
Asian women, on the other hand, would like their man to be “a man.” They often claim that they are dating a White (or Black, or Hispanic) man only because the cute Jet Li look-a-like in class never asked her out and she was just getting tired. “A girl has needs too, you know.” At some point they don’t giggle and say no to a White guy asking them out. This is also confirmed by my White friends who date Asian women. “Dude, you just gotta ask them out. They are tired of waiting for the Asian guys to make up their mind.”
Within my friends, the White males I know who dated (and married) Asian women were also “Chinatown Whities.” They always hung out with Asian kids. As a result, dating within their friend circle meant dating Asian women. Two were even fluent in Mandarin. They were “Asian” in all aspects, except in looks. Since a lot of Asians adopt “American” names, often the White males in the group are assigned the prefix “Whiteboy” to their names for easy identification. [i.e. Whiteboy Eddie, (there were two Asian Eddies); Whiteboy Tommy (there was one Asian Tommy); and so on. In our school I think we had four sets of names that had “Whiteboy,” “Asian,” “Black,” and “Hispanic” prefixes. Apparently first names are not as plentiful as one imagines.] Often a White male will date an Asian female coming out of a terrible and abusive relationship with another Asian male.
Also, that article was freaky. He is not in it for love, but to satisfy his weird fetish.
Thanks for that Tamim, you always make such an effort with your comments 🙂
So the general consensus is that he’s creepy. I think he started off well though, slowly slipping into creepy 🙂 The major generalisations at the end took the biscuit however.
“…even some men who would never consider dating an Asian.”
IMO he’s really the flip side of the same coin. As for honesty, well he ought to be honest – why congratulate that? I wouldn’t date a man or anybody else who told me they “only” dated Black women, whatever their race/color. That person already has figured out what they think they are gonna get from me based on some stereotype, not so different from the haters. Screw that.
Good point Laura.
Related: “Exploring Cultures — Family Values in Interracial Couples,” by Alzak Amlani.
saima, gawd, i don’t know why, but there is something, don’t know how to explain it, but something really scary and racist about this article. too many sterotypes, too many generalizations, followed by this line “The needs of one partner are fulfilled by the nature of the other. ” …just freaks me out a little. and i am an indian woman who married a caucasian man…he didn’t see me as asian though, he saw me as me, with my a skin a little bit more brown. i totally dig my hubby’s view, i don’t like this man’s…eek…
I think he made some valid points at the beginning of the article when he said it just happened to have dated more Asian women and that noone asks Asian men why they like Asian women. But yeah some points were generalisations though he did try his utmost by saying that that was the case as far as he is concerned.
Hey at least he was honest. Didn’t try to couch it in too intellectual terms. Basically said that he was attracted to them and that they give him the time of day – which is always a plus with women. I say date whoever you like and likes you back, don’t think about it too much and keep an open mind…. although this guy did sport the creepy vibe.
Yeah, this guy is definitely creepy and vaguely offensive. Makes me itchy.
This guy is got a web site
Hmm, I think we should clear up that “Asian” in US means what the Brits refer to as “Orientals.” I don’t see too many dot-curried Indian “Asian” women dating White men. More importantly, not many White men being the first one to break the ice and asking out an Indian woman. The Indian female were the one asking the White male out in all the Indian Female-White Male pairs that I know of. In almost all those cases, the Indian female made a concerted decision that she would never find “happiness” with an Indian male, be it of the “imported” kind or “locally grown.” Of course there are a few Indian female-Black male pairs I know. But in those cases the Black male had the courage and decency to be the first one to ask the other party out on a date. It seems that Indian Female – White Male pairs are limited to NYU and SUNY Stony Brook campuses. Also many of these pairs grow out of professional acquaintances. [see Jhumpa Lahiri.]
Unlike others, I actually ask my friends why they are going out with the one they are going out with. I am weird like that. (I also, if called for, sometimes openly criticize their choice in mates.)
Asian (read “Oriental”) men prefer to date other Asian women because of what my friends say, “for the long haul.” She is someone their parents would not oppose, even if none of them can actually read or write any of the “back home” languages and can barely speak it, if ever. Within the groups where they can read, write and speak (or two of three) the “back home” languages, it is pretty much a given that they’d like to date someone who can do all three as well. I have friends who have been dating since high school. Long haul indeed.
Asian women, on the other hand, would like their man to be “a man.” They often claim that they are dating a White (or Black, or Hispanic) man only because the cute Jet Li look-a-like in class never asked her out and she was just getting tired. “A girl has needs too, you know.” At some point they don’t giggle and say no to a White guy asking them out. This is also confirmed by my White friends who date Asian women. “Dude, you just gotta ask them out. They are tired of waiting for the Asian guys to make up their mind.”
Within my friends, the White males I know who dated (and married) Asian women were also “Chinatown Whities.” They always hung out with Asian kids. As a result, dating within their friend circle meant dating Asian women. Two were even fluent in Mandarin. They were “Asian” in all aspects, except in looks. Since a lot of Asians adopt “American” names, often the White males in the group are assigned the prefix “Whiteboy” to their names for easy identification. [i.e. Whiteboy Eddie, (there were two Asian Eddies); Whiteboy Tommy (there was one Asian Tommy); and so on. In our school I think we had four sets of names that had “Whiteboy,” “Asian,” “Black,” and “Hispanic” prefixes. Apparently first names are not as plentiful as one imagines.] Often a White male will date an Asian female coming out of a terrible and abusive relationship with another Asian male.
Also, that article was freaky. He is not in it for love, but to satisfy his weird fetish.
Thanks for that Tamim, you always make such an effort with your comments 🙂
So the general consensus is that he’s creepy. I think he started off well though, slowly slipping into creepy 🙂 The major generalisations at the end took the biscuit however.
“…even some men who would never consider dating an Asian.”
IMO he’s really the flip side of the same coin. As for honesty, well he ought to be honest – why congratulate that? I wouldn’t date a man or anybody else who told me they “only” dated Black women, whatever their race/color. That person already has figured out what they think they are gonna get from me based on some stereotype, not so different from the haters. Screw that.
Good point Laura.
Related: “Exploring Cultures — Family Values in Interracial Couples,” by Alzak Amlani.